How To Riot Politely

In these socially confusing times it is oftentimes difficult to know how to engage cordially with others.

If only there was someone who could show us the way?
If only there was a gracious individual who could instruct us on how to interact and comport ourselves decorously?
If only there was a time traveller from the golden age of etiquette (September 1954) who could give TEDx talks on manners, affairs of the heart, minding one's ps and mending one's qs.

If only no more, ladies and gentlemen, for it is my great pleasure to announce that Mrs. Sylvia Steele (postmark September 1954) will be bestowing her wealth of superior social knowledge to present day audiences in a village/town/virtual hall near you.

But first a little more covert information on the mysterious Mrs. Steele: On a balmy summer evening in 1954, Sylvia was waiting decorously for Mr. Steele to return home from his day's toil in order for them to attend the Briggs' gloriously decorous cocktail party. Yet Mr. Alvin Steele's toiling took rather longer than expected leaving Sylvia Steele little to do but...invent a time machine using only her rudimentary scientific knowhow of the Steele's gas range oven. Heavens to Sylvia it worked! Soon, Sylvia was time traversing all over the future time shop. Yet what she found discomnocerated her; persons of the future were behaving indecorously.

"Why aren't these boys and girls stealing with correctitude?" She wondered whilst observing the Manchester riots of 2011.

Sylvia experienced an epiphany: "My indecorous descendents require my succour. I will enlighten them on how to conduct themselves with gracious propriety. Screw the fat old Briggs' cocktail party!"

And thus Mrs. Sylvia Steele's Guide To How To Riot Politely was born.

Learn how to converse cordially!
Observe how to interact tenderly!
Witness ways in which to steal with politesse!

Tickets on sale now from Ticketlady.com
N.B. Tickets went on sale October 1954 from an actual ticket lady.
N.N.B I've got the last ticket.
N.N.B.B Will duly report back my thoughts on Mrs. Steele's lecture in good, decorous time, readers.